“Tuesday”- an engaging film about grief
Please note: Spoilers abound in the following post.
After watching the trailer for the movie Tuesday, one might say, “Mmm, no thanks. I don’t feel like ugly crying in a room full of strangers today.” Normally, I’d be unapologetically in the “no tearjerkers” camp. But I’m slowly working through my own complicated relationship with grief right now, and the idea of sobbing uncontrollably over a fictional fantasy story struck me as a potentially productive way to pass the time this afternoon.
Tuesday, directed and written by Daina O. Pusic, stars Julia Louis- Dreyfus as Zora, and Lola Petticrew as her 15-year-old daughter, Tuesday. When we meet the title character she is confined to a bed, wearing a breathing apparatus, and in the early stages of active dying due to an undisclosed illness. Her mother Zora is doing a pitifully unconvincing job of avoiding and ignoring the current situation. It’s clear from the get-go that this is a fantasy story— in the first ten minutes of the film, Death shows up in the form of a talking parrot, ready to bring Tuesday’s story to a end. But he doesn’t succeed just yet. The remaining hour and forty minutes prove to be deeply engaging, funny, and heartbreaking, as a story about the five stages of grief unfolds in a surprisingly original way on the big screen.
You may have heard about the five stages of grief. They have a sort of an order to them, although people tend to move through them (and back through them) in their own unique fashion. The five stages of grief are:
Denial: The initial stage where a person might believe the diagnosis or loss is somehow mistaken and cling to a false, preferable reality.
Anger: As the masking effects of denial begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge, often leading to intense emotional anger directed at oneself or others.
Bargaining: The stage where a person might hope they can avoid a cause of grief through negotiation or compromise, often with a higher power.
Depression: During this stage, the person might despair at the recognition of the loss's impact, feeling deep sadness and hopelessness.
Acceptance: The final stage, where a person comes to terms with the loss, recognizing it as a permanent reality, and begins to adjust to life accordingly.
These stages often relate to the events we most typically associate with grief- the death or terminal diagnosis of a loved one. But grief can occur in conjunction with any loss, including the end of a relationship, job, living situation- you name it.
In Tuesday, when we see Zora pretending to go to work, but actually spending her time wandering aimlessly around the city, and then returning home to her daughter and acting like everything is totally normal, she is in the denial stage of grief. When Tuesday tells her that she has seen Death, and will, in fact, be dying that night, Zora shifts quickly and ferociously into the anger stage. She lashes out painfully at Tuesday, admonishing her for making such a “stupid” suggestion.
Eventually, Tuesday introduces Zora to Death, and the bargaining stage immediately begins. First, she tries to catch and kill the Grim Parrot, as any parent would. When that proves unattainable, she negotiates successfully for ten more minutes with her daughter, but then (surprise!) tries to kill Death again by, well, eating him. This seems at first to be successful, but then some strange things start happening…
The next bit of the movie gives us a glimpse into a world where Death isn’t performing his usual job duties. People and animals who should have been released into the afterlife have not been, and society is careening darkly downhill very fast. A traumatized hospice nurse asks Tuesday, “Is this the apocalypse?” It certainly seems like it. The viewer comes to understand that Death, while feared and reviled, is actually a necessary part of this crazy game we’re playing. And for some people, Death represents comfort and a release from pain.
Zora begins to understand that this is true for Tuesday as well, and she slides painfully into the depression stage when she finally understands that Tuesday really is close to dying and is in tremendous pain. Acceptance quickly follows, as she realizes that loving Tuesday means letting her go, so that she can be free of the agony and limits of the dying human body. Yes, Tuesday does die near the end of the movie, and the stages of grief start again for Zora, albeit in a different form.
There are moments of intense sadness in Tuesday, but there are also joyful and even humorous scenes involving people just, being people. This lends much needed balance to a film that deals with an incredibly heavy subject. Whether or not you find yourself on your own exploration of grief, I recommend watching the film Tuesday and discovering what it brings up for you. It is an inevitable fact that death, loss, and grief will impact all of our lives. Having a memory of this movie in your mind, and therefore having once processed these feelings when the stakes were low, could prove to be an asset. And if you’re currently experiencing grief, viewing Tuesday may be a cathartic healing experience.
As always, if you are working through grief, loss, or other painful emotions, feel free to reach out anytime. I regularly see Reiki clients who are finding their way through difficult situations, and would be honored to work with you too.
With love,
Michelle